Eighty Lines

A little bucket lying across the well,

Tumbled on its weight and looking west,

The moist soil beneath and uprooted grass,

There was a man around here you can guess.

Oh yes we can see a man of about forty and three,

Curled and mudded in the sand behind the bush.

His curly grey hair’s shining in fading light,

Whether his life has also faded, is still there to see

Winds are blowing with the song of the fall.

Soon the cold winter will speak in the voice so hoarse.

Sun seem tired after a day of hide and seek,

With our long shadows we made a loud call.

We saw the head rise with the pace of a lazy snail.

It mumbled few words that no one can hear.

Ahoy stranger we speak to you, one of us yelled,

Are you hurt or drunk, how you came to vale.

The stranger spoke with a voice of a hammer on nail,

Pausing and starting then stopping when lost again.

I am a soldier folks who fought your bloody war,

Now I am banished   tell me that I failed.

We gave him some water as he tried to find his feet,

He swerved around for a moment but then fell again in heap.

My misery brought me here, we heard him grunting,

Chastened with shame, for days I could not sleep.

I had killed so many those bodies with no name,

Enemies they were and for me all the same,

I wanted to shoot and kill as many as I could

So Proud and presumptuous of my growing fame.

We stood still in awe as his cleared his throat.

His face carried the marks of the wars he had fought

Then there came a day when it all crumbled down,

Misery came to me with the enemy I had caught.

It was the space between us and them   my comfort zone,

When its mere dummies made of flesh and bone,

My bullets rammed them hard on my glory days,

But for that pale little boy I caught I wish was never born.

Little boy only in name, he shot three of us in war,

Left alone he kept shooting, he wanted to kill many more.

With the rage in his eyes and the blood all over

He threatened, he fought, he screamed and he roared.

Out of bullets he got caught, still looking eye to eye,

Fear was not a word for him its pleasure to see enemy die.

Tie him up and bring him here let’s see what he is made of,

So said the Colonel sending the puff to the sky.

He was tied and beaten so much that his body collapsed

But he never asked for any mercy before his senses passed.

Colonel stood up and asked me with an anguished face,

Put him where he belongs, bury him in the waste.

I dragged the boy with me to the bushes still can hear him breathe

The soldier is there to follow the orders don’t let doubt to creep

Kill me if you want old man a boy the age of your son,

Heard you are a proud soldier but your bravery is finger deep.       

So he mumbled, the boy I was about to kill

He laughed at me and said why I am waiting still,

You never blinked when you killed my father

And many more while shelling our village for thrill.

My father was a farmer tending his field in sun,

Mother was at home they never held a gun,

You killed them both and made me an orphan at twelve

Made me what I am today till death will I burn.

For the years I had fought this bloody war.

I never saw a human in enemy just a target to kill,

Boy’s words screamed in my head as I stood to shoot

My hand shook as I fought my demons long kept so far.

That moment of weakness I dropped my guard,

You can guess what happened next.

The boy snatched my gun and killed my junior

And killed two more before he was dead.

He could have killed me too as I stood there in trance

He made a choice to die instead leaving for his mother’s arms

Colonel banished me from Unit blamed me for all those dead,

But he sparing my life that day broke me in threads

So here I am drunk and lost finding my reason to live,

When I know I killed so many the sin could never shed.

The old man dropped his head again in now dryer mud,

Go home and leave me here, I will stay alive.

Many have left the scene already and I stood up to leave,

Thinking again about his story if his life mirrors his deeds.

Yesterday’s I read in papers that the old man has died,

Today I got a letter saying it’s my turn to shine .

Its The Day I Shed My Pain

My  tomorrow has nothing in store

Life is  stuck like a broken car ,

I find it hard to get moving

It’s the   time when the doors seem shut ,

And the  windows have painted glass ,

And I  wanna give up trying

Looking at  the days die one after another ,

Sooner than I ever thought ,

And my only dream is to live ,

I can feel  the winds are out of  the sail

And boat is  in heavy weather ,

And I know I have lost the way

Today  I wanna  break this painted glass ,

 Let me go and wear the rain ,

My time look up and watch

It is the day I shed my pain .

Today  I wanna sing a happy ballad ,

Let me go and set the stage ,

My life look up and watch

It’s the day I shed my pain . …..

I am tired of looking back ,

Holding the mirror to my life gone by .

Does it make any difference .

Still looking for things I never found ,

Losing them does not count ,

I know my mirror is broken

I know the stars don’t seek the night ,

It’s not for them to give the light ,

They are just there watching ,

There is a reason for that snow ,

When you know there’s nowhere to go ,

It is the season of  dying .

Today  I wanna see the stars die  ,

Let me go to that narrow  lane ,

My time look up and  watch

It is the day I shed my pain .

Today  I wanna sing a happy ballad ,

Let me go and set the stage ,

My life look up and watch

It’s the day I shed my pain . 

it’s the day I shed my pain . .......

Fear In Her Eyes

I heard no cries , not a word was said ; 

All around her were the graves of the dead . 

She was staring straight , into that gloomy sky ; 

All I can see was the fear in her eyes.

Fear kills the weak , we were told ; 

Those were the words , that bought my soul. 

But how to face fear when looking at those eyes ;

they once used to dance and shine so bright . 

We took it away all that she had ; 

A mother she loved , and a man she called dad . 

They were her life , and all she knew ; 

Now alone and lost , in the rubble of her world .

She stood up and started to leave ;

Still no tears , why she never weeps . 

the guns are silent , the smoke fills the sky ; 

the sounds of grief is the playlist for the night .

I trembled as I got closer and my legs went weak ; 

My heart still bleeds for the forgiveness I seek . 

They tell me to get moving and start a new life ; 

If only they could see , that fear in her eyes .

SOLACE

 

When the noise will cease and play will end ;

when the crowd is gone and the curtains descend .

there will still be a heart strumming the ballad ;

there will still be a mind with a story to pen.

 

When the heart stops aching from a broken end ;

When the mind start crooning that a new life began .

There still be a thought of changing the past ;

There still be some memories to befriend .

 

When the night start falling and its getting dark ;

When the moon starts hiding behind the cloudy arc.

There still be a Lighthouse , braving the angry sea ;

There still be a candle ,burning till it’s free .

 

When the life is a pain with no end in sight ;

When black is the only colour you find bright .

There still be a hope of  a magic wand ;

There still be a dream of the promised land.

 

Silhouette of Innocence

Slow down a little my friend  , Take a  deep breath ;

Look for shade somewhere nearby ,Have a little rest .

It’s been years you have been running , Up and down that hill ;

That hill is wearing down now , you still have hours to fill.

Wipe out that sticky sweat , glowing on your forehead ,

The lines on it are growing in number ,Like the crumbs of a broken bread .

Untie your shoelaces , have a little spread ;

Let your ears drop their guard , and eyes close the lid .

Now with me remember  that little one , twenty  years ago ,

Amazed  by the books of mystery and wonder ,

how those eyes used to glow.

Remember how he used to run around ,  to catch the firefly;

And then free them all and look in wonder  ,as they lit up the night .

How he used to make those faces of the clouds in the sky ;

And then feared to look back again , when he caught the devils eye .

you will smile if you remember ,his sunny  days in school ;

how he choked on words and said  nothing  ,

to that pretty girl who spoke.

How he prayed for the game of cricket  to all the gods he knew;

Telling  them to be friends with one another and help him get his due .

Those innocent words rings clear in my head , so much of it was true;

But the little boy is now all  lost , and guile is all you know .

Don’t tell me it’s the way to be , as the world is same around ;

You just have  to do these deeds , nothing else you can  find .

Don’t tell me your heart still aches , when you see misery around ;

I have seen you joke and laugh at will ,  as someone nursed her wounds.

Success is a transit point my friend , it will come and go ;

Life is one that little boy lived , not the one you seem to know .

Look for him and take him back , he is just behind the door ,

Stroke his hair as he  slowly whispers , the key to live once more.

Cold Summer

Little sea washing it away ;

A little  food orphaned on its shore,

A left over of some fat mouth .

A bird crying or chirping ;

Aimlessly flying here and there ,

Doesn't know where to go .

Oh there is a path , the beaten one ;

Dusty , muddy , tanned and burned ,

Let it rest on its own .

There is a bench on the lawn ;

No one sit there any more ,

Its empty , broken and alone .

So here I stand and I am  looking around ;

I wonder What’s the point of it all .

Let me open my eyes , and see through this dream ;

But it still hurts when I fall .

Little streets across the muddy road ;

Makes me remember a tiny house ,

Which I once called home .

It is still there where it was ;

I have just moved alone ,

A little too far away .

Oh there is a song on the rain ;

It’s been a while since I sang ,

But it hasn't rained at all .

The summer has dried my little well ;

Which was a mirror to see myself ,

Now it’s just muddy hole .

So here I stand and I am  looking around ;

I wonder What’s the point of it all .

Let me open my eyes , and see through this dream ;

But it still hurts when I fall . 

When the River Burns .

Oh you are still here ;

sitting behind that little old window .

Looking somewhere far ,across the land;

I wonder who is there , the one you want to see.

There used to be a river across  , but has dried long back ;

But you keep looking for its signs  with weary eyes .

Like the river , they are drying too ;

shadows and grief is all that I can see.

There has been days , when they light up ;

Thinking the harsh summer has finally gone .

But the thought of spring is just a mirage;

Soon it disappears as you move closer .

The footprints of love forms a circle below ;

A circle of pain and unending loneliness.

You try to   hide them in your vacant smile ;

The more you do,   the darker they grow .

I know it hasn't been easy to face ;

You were living and laughing and finding yourself .

But those moments of horror has taken it all ;

Now the sounds of laughter is  noise that hurt ,

The more you drown the more it burns .

You can’t wash them away with tears my friend ;

Just keep the river flowing in your heart .

Time will bring slowly  the winds of change ;

Feel that damp moist breeze when it comes.

Someday the clouds will  gather , and it will rain ;

And your eyes will glow and dance again . 

When The Door Opens .

A muddy trail leading  to somewhere ,

A bird crooning the glory of the morning.

Lonely cricket practising to woo his lady love;

And a body lying still , oh yeah it’s me.

It’s me out there , I can now be sure ,

Still like a rock that has seen the sea of time .

Hairs seems wet , no I don’t oil them any more ;

Have they gone grey , or that’s the play of light .

I must be here for more than a day .

As some of the natures children are playing around on me ;

Crawling over my long face , is a little beetle;

Happy he seems to explore , the things  he never saw.

Muddy ,dirty hands have settled across each other;

While legs a feet apart and feet’s looking away.

A little white feather is sleeping on my chest;

Is he a little  tired or is it a warm embrace.

Soon it will be raining , tells the clouds above;

Naughty drops have already escaped the parents’ home.

Will they wake me up from this untimely sleep;

Or they will let me drown in this infinite peace.