High Tides in Moonless Nights

I am in a very critical stage of my life . And I know , in few months my life may experience some dramatic turbulence , which can change the course of my journey. So before it happens , and before  I cease to stay what I am now , I would like to  share whatever I can write , through the lens of my own narrow , secluded mind. As of now , whatever I can say , has to come in the mould of Poetry. So here they are.

A day in Abstract is my last in the series of " High Tides in Moonless Night" . Its one of the longest poem I ever wrote as well as my most challenging. Inspiration are those timeless western Ballads and Songs , as well as Poems I remember reading as a child. I am not sure about the result on the readers point of view , but I am satisfied by the outcome myself.

A Recurring Dream is a poem I wrote sometime back , but did not post . I do get recurring dreams , and the idea when I started was to question why it's happening.Although I drifted a little in the poem and hence didn't post earlier. But now , I guess it's worth the effort to put in here .

Epilogue to a Friendship is actually a very personal piece. I wrote it for my Friend , And I hope it is read by the one for whom it is intended.

I don't know why is again a personal piece , one taken from my experience in Congo as an expat.Frankly since three months I havn't seen blue sky , moon or stars ever here.But more than that its a also a satire about people , I have met on the various phases of my work life.

I will be taking a break from my business of Poetry for sometime. I hate monotony , and well I am thinking of doing something else . But I will keep posting in between . Thanks to each and everyone who took their  precious time  out of their extremely busy life to visit my blog. I hope that I haven't disappointed my readers and visitors. 




A DAY IN ABSTRACT

As the Sunshine came , through the broken window glass

I woke half way through the dream;

As my mind jumbled , in thoughts of broken slumber,

I gazed at the lonely wooden beam.

The beam held a clock , showing ten minutes past  nine,

I  cursed  myself for sleeping late;

As I rushed to the shower, knowing I was losing  time

Hoping still for a good day fate.

I drove the car  hard , on that  cold Monday Morning ,

While my mind got busy in Math;

It’s still three papers , and one more meeting

As my eyes left the sight of  path.

Out of nowhere ,an old man came ,

May be of sixty and five;

As stuck by a light ,I pushed on the brake

Thought he is gonna die.

The car slipped across , I was launched to the front ,

Still pushing  as hard as I could;

It went all in vain , as it still hit the man ,

while crashing into the wood.

Those moment of dark silence , when the world seemed tumbling,

My eyes ceased to raise;

I prayed to lord,for wife and my daughter,

Was my first in many-many days.

The moist feel of blood , on my forehead

told me I was still alive;

As I thanked my stars , with tears rolling over,

there was knock on the window I realized.

The old man I hit , was standing by the window

All red in mud and pouring blood.

He had a tall figure , and well built body ,

He seemed to have come up to rough.

I opened up the door , and dragged myself out ,

Apologizing to the man as I stood;

"I am really sorry Sir , I was in my thoughts,

Pardon me if you could".

The old man Smiled , put a hand on my shoulder

And said that he is fine and alright ;

"It was my fault , that I was on the  road,

and a little too much to the right".

"Come over son , I know how u feel,

and the sense of that smashing fright ;

Move to the corner turn , let’s have a  beer,

You will then start feeling light".

We moved to the pub and had a glass of beer ,

With the old man staring through my eyes ;

Then he put the glass down , lighted a cigarette ,

And started with the flowing smile.

"Your hands are still trembling, Your mind is still wondering ,

What are you so scared about ;

We both are still living , and your car is still moving What is in the mind to doubt".

I said I missed the morning meeting , my clients would  been waiting,

Guess I am  gonna lose my job;

I tried my very best , lost all my sleep and rest;

Still I fail to make my ground.

Stranger to my little daughter , to my love no better;

All for the money and a good life;

Had I died in the crash , Leaving alone my wife and daughter;

I dare think to that sight.

The old man gulped , one more glass of bear ;

Gazing  the  sky as in trance;

You are very lucky , you can still see your baby

I never got a second chance.

"You are my past , and I was driving very fast,

In the car of money and fame;

I lost my Little daughter , when sending her to  my mother

As her plane crashed and burned in flame".

"I remember her crying , when I still was trying

to get her into the flight;

She said you don’t love your daughter, Mommy was so better,

I wish she was  still alive".

The old man trembled ,tears came rolling

As I looked with eyes open wide;

You don’t know son , from that day to this one.

How many times I have died.

"Son you doing fine , just don’t lose your time

For the moments that may never arrive;

If my life a lesson , Go home and see the reason,

which makes one want to be alive".

The Old man left , with a hat on his head ,

Limping a little as he made his stride;

Snow start falling , and I was on my way crawling ,

His words splashing like  a tide.

A RECURRING DREAM

A recurring dream , so surreal ,

It keeps me thinking , is it  for real
Forms and shadows , routes and paths ,
That blowing wind , the fluttering mast.
The sounds I hear , the voices I know ,
so crisp so clear ,fresh as snow.


I wander around , in my dream.
Living in it , like what i mean.
Here I am loved for what I am
Nothing to hide , nothing to sham.


Sky is open , Stars are above ,
Noise do cease and its music of love.

If dreams are real and life is not ,
Present is absent  , and past is lost.
Nothing has happened , nothing will end.
My dreams will shape , the moves and bend.

Will swim over the skies and fly in the ocean.
will glide  the wind , in swinging motion.
Pain will perish , sorrows will drown .
Joy will flutter , pleasure will crown.

The dreams that lives with open eyes ,
Are seeds of future , and hope of life.
Hold them tight , never let them go,
life is void , with no dreams to sow

Enduring a life , with a shimmering dream.
That dream will be life , with nothing in between.

EPILOGUE TO A FRIENDSHIP




 As I sit today , with a pen and Paper , I cant think what to write.
The only thing that's dragging me  ,  is this lonely creepy night .
The realm of thoughts , amidst the dark , brings memories to overflow
I am missing  a friend , who was special , for times I forever know  

Sadness came to me , holding me , she said   with teary eyes ,
She no longer remember my dear , you are off her sight.

Something has snapped , I don't know what , Gulf is too large now.

hope if there is not too much , but memories don't take a bow.

We had  been too close before , and now are much too far ,

Its more than any pain I suffered , much  more than any scar.

  

I could had hurt her  ,may be  a lot more than I might know
But I too was hurt ,not any less  and that is as much true
I have lived over the hurt , dragged myself , from the mud of hopeless despair.
I want you ,  to get over too , only if u care.

 Life is not a happy ride , we both know it well.
We have to turn up and find a way, when the darkness swell
There will be painful times , but hope must always survive ,
For every dusk has a dawn , and every day has a night.

   

I have nothing much to say , but I wanna do it right .

I Know I should say sorry , and end over the fight .
Ego drags me back at times far many  , and anger put its shield,
But I could see the pain ,smiling hideously , behind the anger's veil.

 

So I confess to her once more ,  that behind my each hurting word ,
There was still a lot of care , lots of affection and love.
I never wanted to hurt her , Never thought I could .
But life when it turns brings us down , through those slanting unknown curves .

I want her to move on , over this  pain and feeling of hurt
Time has come to let it rest and forget what has past.
I am trying to mend ,the friendship, which lays in ruins,
I need from her a helping hand , and hope it will be soon.

Time is a drunken lad , swinging up and down on the street ,
We never knew when it could hit , and end our flirting  beat.
I dread the thought of the life's end ,with pain and regret in heart,
Of not being able to set it right , and gazing her smile at last.

I Don't Know Why  

Why the sky is never much blue here ,
Why the clouds are always hanging in there.
I can hardly see any stars at night .
Which are mostly gloomy , and days are never bright.

Why doesn't moon , talk to me nowadays,
We used to walk togather I remember,
The stars which used to laugh and twinkle,
Can't see them anymore , its all so sombre.

 

Why don't the birds chirp anymore.
Why I cant see the fine nests hanging around.
Where has all the frogs gone to quake .
Why no children , dance in the rain.

Why is there so much noise
Its hard to make out my own fuzzy voice.
Where has all the innocence gone to hide.
Why one cant be humble , yet bright .

Why I see people , old at thirty ,
and children talking money at five.
Why I cant see , any happy faces,
though I see people , laughing outside.

Why we all have so many selves ,
Its hard to know , which one is true.
Why am I left with no more aces,
To win back the game , I am losing through.

Why true love , so hard to find.
Why cant we be rich , still stay kind.
Why has fear became a part of life,
Why life itself is such a heavy price.

 

Why so many words but so little meaning.
Why I cant fly even when dreaming.
Why tears come fast , but dry in no time.
Why so many why's , and I am still doing fine !!