Its been a long time since i have sat down to write something. I am not gonna write about world , politics , religion etc today. I am gonna look within.
I am on crossroads, I have lost my vision , my attitude even my zest. I am not sure what to do , and for whom. My intelligence , my sanity , my thinking even my love has been questioned. I am not sure what is right anymore. I am not sure , what will make me happy anymore. Nothing seems to be working . Last few days have taught me lessons , which i never got before. I have been miserable myself . Nothing worked out the way i wanted it to .
I have been told to quantify myself . I have been told to fake things , and use my brains to handle my own family. I made everyone upset , No one seems to be happy with me. I never got any appreciation for anything I did. I wanted to have a happy time , and all I got was sadness and All I gave was sadness. Nothing I did , seems to be right. I proved myself to be a unworthy , immature , self centered fool.
Money , Money , Money ..I guess that is all in this world. I need money , to buy happiness. I need more money to keep happiness , and I need even more to make others happy as well. I knew money is important , but alas I never considered it as a tool for happiness. But I am wrong , it is.
I am not sure there is anyone in this world , who truly understands me . I am not sure there is anyone in this world who truly knows me as well. I am not successful , I am not faithful , I am running from responsibilities. Wish I could run , Wish I could just vanish , without anyone even remembering my existence.
I am searching for an aim in life. I feel suffocated , perplexed and genuinely sad.
I don't wanna go back to the place I came from . There I feel suffocated , and just a misfit. I am too much an idiot to the ways of the world. And I have no desire to learn them. Neither I wanna stay in the place where I am right now. It was supposed to be a transit point not the final destination. I am cutting myself off from a lot of people I was close to. It was not a choice. I was belittled and betrayed. I was made to realize what a fool I am. I used to think I am intelligent , if nothing else. But now I know how well I can be manipulated just by a few touching words.
I wonder what lies ahead. But I don't have an option to wait and watch. Recollecting something ..I again have tears rolling in my eyes............I cant continue......I hope I come back in better times. Signing off.........
I am on crossroads, I have lost my vision , my attitude even my zest. I am not sure what to do , and for whom. My intelligence , my sanity , my thinking even my love has been questioned. I am not sure what is right anymore. I am not sure , what will make me happy anymore. Nothing seems to be working . Last few days have taught me lessons , which i never got before. I have been miserable myself . Nothing worked out the way i wanted it to .
I have been told to quantify myself . I have been told to fake things , and use my brains to handle my own family. I made everyone upset , No one seems to be happy with me. I never got any appreciation for anything I did. I wanted to have a happy time , and all I got was sadness and All I gave was sadness. Nothing I did , seems to be right. I proved myself to be a unworthy , immature , self centered fool.
Money , Money , Money ..I guess that is all in this world. I need money , to buy happiness. I need more money to keep happiness , and I need even more to make others happy as well. I knew money is important , but alas I never considered it as a tool for happiness. But I am wrong , it is.
I am not sure there is anyone in this world , who truly understands me . I am not sure there is anyone in this world who truly knows me as well. I am not successful , I am not faithful , I am running from responsibilities. Wish I could run , Wish I could just vanish , without anyone even remembering my existence.
I am searching for an aim in life. I feel suffocated , perplexed and genuinely sad.
I don't wanna go back to the place I came from . There I feel suffocated , and just a misfit. I am too much an idiot to the ways of the world. And I have no desire to learn them. Neither I wanna stay in the place where I am right now. It was supposed to be a transit point not the final destination. I am cutting myself off from a lot of people I was close to. It was not a choice. I was belittled and betrayed. I was made to realize what a fool I am. I used to think I am intelligent , if nothing else. But now I know how well I can be manipulated just by a few touching words.
I wonder what lies ahead. But I don't have an option to wait and watch. Recollecting something ..I again have tears rolling in my eyes............I cant continue......I hope I come back in better times. Signing off.........
