still searching for a friend

Well, its been over two weeks since i last posted my blog. its been a rather tense time for me. I am nearing the end of my summer training in Mumbai. It has been quite an experience for me , met some really interesting people . but one thing i really learned from my experience is don't trust anybody , i did that and I am suffering. i relied on my friends and they ditched me when i needed them most. well even though i refer to them as my friends but i hardly meant it now. the people whom i had never met before helped me , but those i knew ...ah what can i say .......god bless them. its friendship day but I am sorry to say , that i don't have any good friends left . I am alone . I try to find solace on the net where I have got some good people who really cares for me , but they are the people I have never met so , may be its too early to judge them . Anyhow may be the fault lies with me .May be I am not good enough for friendship.truly speaking I never did anything in my life that would have hurt someone . sometimes I even suffered for others. I am not self appreciating myself , but I am saying this from my heart. I cant see someone embarrassed in front of others , my heart cries when i see someone cry . I feel elated when I think I have been good enough to help someone . I know it seems rather like self flattery , but these are the things I consciously tried to put into myself , because these are what I picked from what I read since childhood. I sincerely believed that good can be trendy , and since I never had the talents that others had , so i never picked up their way and tried to find mine , and what i picked up as a child was to behave like a decent gentleman , like the so called grown ups . that made me unique when I was a child , but as I am seeing it now , the perceptions of grown ups in my mind was wrong . being grown up essentially means knowing how to make your way up , how to be able to get your way , even if you have to run over others for that. being grown up means shutting your eyes towards others and forward your own cheap interests . being grown up means knowing how to make others help you , and then forgetting the person. And last but not the least being grown up means make a lot of friends but never do friendship with any of them .

ah.. how sorry I am for being a grown up . enjoy your friendship day

Big city blues . huh!

Well prior to coming here in Mumbai , I was thinking how is it going to be . will I be able to match the pace of the city. whether the people in the company I am going to work will treat me nicely or just treat me like an innocent , ignorant alien . well i had many questions peeping out of my mind , and making me nervous as I boarded the plane. But it soon faded as I entered the premises. Although the surroundings were quite alien , huge multi story buildings , well furnished offices . digital doors . But somehow i didn't feel out of place.And I was treated quite well by whoever I met . But I knew that its not going to be easy . Soon in a few days it was made known to me by whoever I met , and like as I always do , don't know why , I always put a very humble picture of mine, that I will have to contribute to the sales. Well well , i knew its going to be like this even though its not my job , but I need to do it.

hell

hi everyone . this is going to be my first blog .well what brought me here. just the idea of sharing with everyone the life i am living .why i titled it as hell. hmm don't know , but may be because i see my life essentially going in that way only. I am a student , 23 yr old doing my MBA . I really don't know weather I am doing what i should do. Ill tell u more in my subsequent posts. just be with me.