The poet in me

Well , it's been so many days since I have updated anything substantial over my blog. Been doing a lot of things off late. Two things that I am happy to reveal are learning guitar and writing poems although I wrote poem as a reaction to some events , which are umm ..a little personal. I never knew I could write poems and I was pleasantly surprised by myself when I finished my first piece. My writing , my poems , the video films as well as hopefully my music ( if i could learn it well ) are all channels to help me divert my energies to some creativity which is always jostling to get out. Also that is something that makes me happy with myself , and that is indeed an achievement in itself in a world where one can become forever disappointed.

Anyways , here I would like to share a few pieces of what I wrote.

My Guardian Angel

I long for the day, when I could say,

I found the one, to show the way.

One to tell the meanings, so obscure,

Who finds the disease, and the cure

I meet one, and I meet all.

Some are polite, some are gall.

The tales of their lives, and morbid details,

Boasts of knowledge and wealthy scales.

They take the delight, when someone falls.

Then they envy the one, who stands tall.

Stories are many, new and old.

Emotions are less and feelings are sold.

I go around, following the day.

It leaves me alone, with the night to stay.

Gazing the stars, and the rowing moon,

They tell me to wait, that it will be soon.

The nights are lonely, to say the least.

Even my shadow takes bow and retreat.

I close my eyes, trying to sleep.

But thoughts stay awake, forever so deep.

I want to run from this stale life.

Beg you to come and show me the light.

I know you are there, somewhere in sight

Hear my story and know my plight.

Give me your hand and take me out,

Shower the love, and end the drought.

I long for you, my guardian angel.

It's ever so long, don't stay a stranger.

 

Aftermath


They conspired something, just for fun. 
All but excited about its twists and turns.
No where they knew, they unleashed a devil.
It’s called emotion, forever a peril.

The fun was lost,
though it meant to be a toast.
The conspirators might part.
Having failed the task.

I am the one to blame,
He made the claim.
Don't go to the other side,
It's too much a pain.

She paused, and thought, and moved ahead.
Leaving him behind, all but dead.
Sun is setting, curtains are down,
Mood is somber , its melancholy around.


Fear is lonely, so is he.
They take each other, like sand and sea.
Broken and dumped, having failed the test.
He slowly went home,
With a pain in chest.

A falling life
As the World keeps going round.
Things are coming crumbling down.
Words are growing far and many;
They mean so little, if any. 


Hope has no reason to survive.
She told me, she'll be dead by night.
Reached the tunnel end, all right
nowhere can I see a ray of light.

Living a life true to my own chosen name.
Torn as RAGS and much in pain.

A little try in Hindi

Kshitij  ki  oar

Raastein hain kahaan , ye pata hai nahin .
Chal rahein hain yun, jaise behti hui nadi ,
saath tum do , to miljayenge raastein ..
humsafar tum raho ..to manzil door nahin ,

Zamin chhoot gayi , aasmaan ki chah mein ..
Assmaan chup gaya , baadlon ki chaon mein .
Baadlon ko chhantna ..seekh liya hai hamnein ..
Taaron tak pahonchna ..ab tamanna hai yehi

Udna chahein to , pankh aa jayenge khudi
milegi saagar se , chahe jo nadi ..
Shaam deti hai savere ka aasra ,
Dhoop ke bina , kya chaon hai kahin..

The Grand Design

Seasons past by, days go by ...life stays still...Till it's a farewell.

Life as we say is a journey. The journey which ends in death. But every journey has a destination. After all, whatever we do, all we achieve is death. There is no respite, there are seemingly no options. One has to die, and that is it. So how come we chose death as our destination. Death can’t be a destination. We don't live to die. We live to achieve, achieve a name, achieve fame, becoming a parent, taking the generation forward, playing our part and then leave. I guess life is not a journey, it’s rather a play. And we are just actors in the play of life or the universe as a whole. Each of us plays a small part in it. Some of us because of our talents might get an important role, but no one can extend his part. That is fixed. The play has been going on since millions of years, and will go on for millions of years more.

Let's think of it. We started as cave dwellers, roaming and hunting for food. Humanity has progressed a lot since then .The knowledge has been accumulated in each of the generations and passed on the next generation. Every generations test the accumulated knowledge with its own add ins and invention, verifies and edit and then pass it on to the next generation. The knowledge that cannot survive the test of time and ideas is left behind and replaced by new ideas. It has been going on for thousands of years. This seems an eternal process. Step by Step humanity is progressing , revealing the secrets hidden behind by the  universe itself , so that the actors of each generation have a part to play in revealing them little by little , keeping the play interesting

Science, art, philosophy, and every other stream have seemingly progressed enriching themselves with new ideas and discoveries. We definitely know much more today than say hundred years ago. The generations before were not wrong, neither ignorant. But they can only work with knowledge accumulated by the generations before them. They played their part and that is why people like Einstein and Stephen Hawkins can propose their theories. I think in our morbidity of life, there is a larger purpose at play. The play has to have a conclusion, maybe someday it will. And each of us will play our own little part in achieving the conclusion.

According to Stephen Hawkins latest offering “the Grand Design “we are all part of a grand design. We all evolved by the interplay of the laws of physics , that have stayed true from the beginning or so called Big Bang and till this point. And they will remain true till the end. It’s fascinating to read the thoughts of this great scientist. I could never guess in school that the Heinsberg Uncertainty Principle, and the special theory of relativity, which i struggled to mug up has such wider implications to the world or the universe. It can have implications like time travel, multiple universes, and so on. If I can get fascinated by reading about it now, imagine how fascinated we would have been as students, if only, if only our teachers only knew how to generate interest, and were not just concentrating over finishing the periods.
  

Anyhow, according to Hawkins, if we consider ours as the only universe then our creation is really a special event. Since it means that from the beginning of Universe every condition has just been right to the minutest detail to support life on earth. Had there been any slight variations, in the early universe, there would not have been life on earth.So many people can think of it, as a proof of existence of god. However this also has to be understood that all laws of physics stayed true from the origin of time, till the moment. However amazingly, according to very recent findings, and the so called the M theory, which might be called the mother of all theories, ours is not the only universe that exist. There are numerous universes which might be slightly or greatly different from ours, supporting many probabilities and time quotients. So there can be a universe in which I am already dead, and another one in which my laptop just burst at this moment. These universes might also be having different laws of physics, not like ours.

I don't want to discuss theoretical physics here. Its too wide and complex subject and much beyond my realm of talent. However, it is not difficult to see the progression of humanity in terms of knowledge. I just want to extrapolate this progression to say 500 years ahead. I just wonder how much knowledge that generation would have encompassed. 

 

We all are playing our part in that accumulation of knowledge. So all these laws of physics, who are the real directors of this enormous play, will someday bring us to any conclusion. Can knowledge have limit, a conclusion. Can there be someday, when there is nothing more for the world to know, nothing more for the world to discover and accumulate. The easiest answer is no, it cannot happen. There will always be something, and may be humanity won’t survive the day to discover all the answers. However may be from the ruins and rumbles of humanity, some beings from other planets or even universe, can continue the process of accumulation of knowledge. It might look like a science fiction; however it’s not out of the bounds of possibility and probability.

In the context of the whole Universe, or as we have just discovered, multiple universes, we are as small as a drop in an ocean. So I would it’s difficult to believe that the whole Universe has been created just to support us i.e. Human Life. Won’t it be a huge waste of resources?  In that case god does not have an auditor. There are still huge mysteries sitting on our head regarding our existence and the existence of the universe. But if we see the larger picture, we could understand the coherent events that are leading towards the progression of knowledge. Be it the movement of the world towards democracy and consumerism from monarchies and socialism, creation of religions or the race for capturing resources beyond our planet. Democracy and consumerism are far more conductive for knowledge generation than socialism and monarchies, in which science and knowledge is domain of the chosen few.

For some it might look as the cheap capitalism; however no one would disagree that this cheap capitalism accelerated the process of knowledge generation, accumulation and assimilation. As for religions, however meaningless and bizarre they might look to the men of science, it’s them that helped human kind to survive from the very true possibility of self destruction. It also gave human the hope out of the utter dismay death brings with itself. In the context of the Universe, the only value of humanity as a whole is the knowledge it has gathered over thousands of years. Hence by this theory we are all part of a larger design, design that will one day lead the universe to a conclusion. Each of us plays a part in it. If by nothing else, but supporting the chosen few to keep the process of progression of knowledge going forward.

Thirst for Knowledge

Contained within a single dewdrop tear is a world of education. Mother nature dips her hands into the pool of learning, and as she opens them a mother is revealed bestowing the most precious of gifts to her child – knowledge. The young have a thirst for information which must be fed, and lessons that we learn in youth will map our route through life.
 

Purpose of Life

What’s the meaning of life? One of my good friends put this question on Facebook. Though I tried to answer it, by what came to my mind at that time, I still could not convince myself to my own answer. I essentially wrote that individually our life does not have any meaning, however people who we love, or who loves us, gives the meaning to our lives and vice-versa. We could see how our parents work to the limits just to make our life better. How we take up anything just to help our loved ones. Individual happiness comes from the ability to be loved or giving love. For some the sphere of loved ones is their close family and friends and their pets. This is their lives; these are the ones who give meaning to their lives. However for some, there is a wider sphere, those who are highly involved in social work and are genuinely devoted to it. They are great people and their lives give meaning to so many others. However what I was trying to understand is where we stand as individuals. Individually, how can i define or give meaning to my life.

 I have already spent half of my life just getting myself equipped to lead the other half. Is it worth the effort? But what else is the option anyways. Some say that putting your foot prints in history is one way of doing that. Some talk about the creation, invention, discovery .For some just an idea defines their lives. Scientists could spend their whole lives in laboratories, passionately working for something new and novel. Sometimes they could spend half their lives, finding solutions to complex mathematical riddles, and rest of their lives defending their solutions to the world. So a mathematical equation can give meaning to the life of some. For environmentalists, the effort in saving one species from extinction is worth giving the life for. I could not believe that money can give meaning to anyone's life. But power can, and most of the times money can buy power. For big industrialists, it’s their passion to keep themselves on top of the league, and not the money that gives the meaning to their lives. However not everyone can find such meanings to their lives. They are privileged lot. Most of all and sundry, the family and loved ones definition is the one that fits well. Religion talks about Moksha or the ultimate unification with god as the life's ultimate aim. So as I have spent half my life getting equipped for the other half, they spend whole their lives getting equipped for the next life , or the fate after death in which they believe in.

So where that brings us. I guess it means that every individual has to get or rather search for his or her won meaning of life. Love and well being of friends and family apart, it's something more, that should define your life. Mostly it's something that you love, or are passionate about. It can be devotion to religion, or passion for sports. Most of us are not lucky enough to get a job that could forward our passion. Making a living is as important .However there is nothing better than doing what you like to do.

I am jealous of those scientists or someone like archaeologists who are so passionately always working to find something elusive and unknown. I am jealous of those musicians or artists who are always looking for creating something new and novel. I wish I had the talents of those. We all are born with distinct and unique talents. However it's upon us to find that and bring it out, lest we live our lives without the knowledge of even having them. It's not for the world. We don't have to prove anything to anyone. It's for us only. We all should find our calling in life. That is something which gives us the ultimate happiness. I have made my efforts to bring some meaning to my life. However sometimes i feel that I wasted a little too much time already. Anyhow I am not giving up. I will find this meaning however elusive it would be. Because without it my life will always be hollow and incomplete.

Africa as I discovered

Its been months since I wrote my last Blog post. I was not busy , but I guess was not motivated enough for that . I roamed around Rwanda during this period and discovered the beauty in real terms. The Beauty of Nature , beauty of life , beauty of heart. Before coming to Africa , I had thought of it as dry , hot place , with poverty , ethnic clashes , genocides , illiteracy and yes forests and animals. But I discovered to my pleasant surprise , unadulterated beauty not only of nature but  also of the simplicity of heart of the people .

Please click on the link to the movie above to have a taste of what I discovered.

Oasis

I have nothing much to do today, no Internet and TV is already occupied with everyone watching the movie I have already seen. Finished reading a book on the conflict of Northern Ireland..And don't feel like going to another book so soon. As always I like to ponder over everything I read and let everything sink in before I switch over to something else. Although I have already kept ready the next book I am going to start and that is about the former republic of Yugoslavia. It’s good to have a job which is giving me this opportunity to read so much and know this world and the realities surrounding it. Living abroad helps, as it opens one's mind to the ideas, expressions and experiences that are hard to come by while at home. 

I have nothing in mind while I am posting this. I am not going to preach any ideas or give any words of wisdom as I have been previously doing. This is just a post in which I would like to reflect upon my experiences and thoughts. My caravan of thoughts needs to find an oasis to rest before starting the journey again.

I thought of writing about my experience in Africa and this beautiful country of Rwanda so far..But I won’t do that today as It would invariably become something political or social discussion which I want to avoid today. I have been reading a late off late, about anything that my mind find interesting enough to explore. So things I read about varied from the story of notorious lovers and criminals Bonny and Clyde who lived a life and died in a way I thought is only possible in movies, to genocide in former republic of Yugoslavia, story of Irish Republican Army and also the geopolitical and ethnic struggle in nearby Congo and of course the Rwandan story. Yes in-between I also got interested in India’s own struggle for freedom and revisited the black history of Partition of India from the point of view of the neutrals and not the way it is taught in the classrooms, where the viewpoints are mostly skewed in favour of the national interest and are thus mostly biased.

Now that is all heavy duty stuff about world politics. I get disturbed many I times. The realities of this world is so harsh and cruel that it’s hard to believe that it’s still a world worth to live in. It’s a confusing world, where a same deed could be celebrated and rewarded, in one part while been called a crime and liable for punishment in some other. Religious, ethnic, and racial conflicts have embroiled the world, when ironically the primary reason for existence of religion should be peace and tranquility. Long before the economic recession we have seen a moral recession, which has engulfed us in such an extent that we all have become used to it and no longer want to spend any efforts to bring a change. Still there is light, still there is love and still there is hope. With whatever little I have traveled in this world, I could make out one thing. that every human is inherently good natured. Love still exists and most people still could be persuaded with truth and genuineness of emotions. 

I believe in life and not legacy. It’s a small life, just a few years. It is to be lived and not to be wasted in mindless conflicts of ego. The clashes have always been there and would always be there. It’s the way it is. There will always be struggle for existence. I wished Darwin was not right, but he is in a way. Man is essentially an animal. For animals its a struggle for food, for man it has become a struggle for power and resources. But as an Individual, what am I supposed to be doing. I don’t know, but staying true with my feelings and thoughts could be the way to go. I will keep on searching for answers ...and inspirations. Like the world, I am also struggling to find my hero and the guiding force. But do I really need one.....I still wonder...

                            

Would be writing some light hearted stuff for some time, may be a story or two.

                               

 I like this Oasis ........would spend a little more time here...

                                                                                                                                   

  Rags

Narrow Lanes & Wider Horizon Cont....

How Nations are created? All nations come into existence on the basis which is not at least coherent. Populations have been divided on the basis of religion ( as in case of pakistan), ethnicity and races ( germanic , slovak , czec, french , anglo saxon ) and many on the basis of the earlier kingdoms and Empires that existed and then slowly evolved as republics. Imperialism created nations of their own as most of the Africa , present day India etc is created out of the maps that the conquerers created and then left. But once a nation is created people find a common ground , it may be religion , culture or just the name to feel being the part of nation. 

We all are made to feel part of the name and pride associated with it. But that is manufactured pride. When we are in school or college, we love our group , our class. If there is a competition going on , we will support the section , class or college we belong to.Since that is part of the identity at that point of time we feel the need to support the group we belong to . Patriotism is likewise the identity which we support. Its great that we love our country ,  love in anyways a great thing in itself . But that love should not breed animosity , differences and a false sense of pride. Patriotism should not breed on ground of hatred. Be  loyal to humanity and Earth. Patriotism is not important,Humanity is. If you are doing service to mankind , its a far more appreciable deed than doing service to your nation. 

We all think of murder a a heinous crime. We cant think of doing that ourselves. But we clap for the soldier who has killed five soldiers of the enemy country , on the orders of the government . Those who he has killed were also soldiers , just doing their duty. And we clap for creating orphans of five families. Soldiers are not to be blamed. They do their duty. Thats their job. But do you really think the soldier thinks about his country during the battle. No. He is thinking about how to save himself and his fellow men while executing the orders given by those wise men sitting at office. And the only way he can save himself and his fellow men is by killing the one on the opposite side.

Death of any kind should not bring a celebration , even if its of our enemy.We loath acts of terrorism, but dont go to the root of the problem. If race is the basis of nationalism than the present day India should be more than twenty nations. There is something above than being patriotic.We were in British rule . We had great martyrs like Subhash , Azad , and Bhagat Singh. But for Britishers they were no more than terrorists. They were fighting for Indian independence , hence they are given so high regards. But likewise people in Assam , Kashmir  and some other North Eastern States are fighting for their own independence. 

They think that they have nothing in common with India , and they were never a part of India prior to British rule.They are also martyrs in their own right. They are also dying for a cause , for their people.So should their death be celebrated . Will the stories of their heroism will ever come to us. No , because they are traitor to our country . But this is not their country , according to them , so how can they be traitors. These people could never be won over by force. They can only be won over by love , development and integration into the mainstream.

My head was down with shame when I saw the pictures of Manipuri elderly women , getting naked,and holding the banners “ Indian Army Rape us.” What can drive those women to go to such an extreme extent.Its also amazing how less footage this news got in National media. As if that part of India is not at all important. I got such long forwarded mails of how shameful it is that Indian national flag is still burned in Kashmir and media ignores such incident . I don't think this is even half as shameful as the incident in Manipur.What would happen to the youth of Manipur when they see their mothers and sisters being pushed to such levels. Wont they take up arms . And isnt they justified. And should we clap , if any of those youth is killed by one of our brave jawans.If this is the outcome of patriotism , I am happy being a non patriotic.

We are told since childhood that our country is the most beautiful , our culture is the richest and so on. But is it the right approach. We should be appreciating each and every culture in this world. There are many beautiful places in this world and India is certainly not the only one which can boast of beauty.We call ourselves victims of racism in western nations.But I have seen Indians indulging the same kind of racism to African people.So we are not always on the right side.Its very important for the governments to install patriotism, because its core to the existence of the nation. Its like a operating system that should be installed in order to run the other programs well. Governments will never be transparent. So the onus is on the citizens to understand the larger picture. I know this world can't function without nations. There would be too much chaos and disorder. As their would be if a class has only one section. So its a great arrangement but after all its an arrangement. Its not something to die for. At least not for me.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

                  

Narrow lanes and wider horizon

Who am I . Its the question many have pondered on . Great minds have applied themselves earnestly to get an answer but have hardly ever reached a logical conclusion . Since birth we come with a baggage. The baggage of the name we are carrying , the family , the religion the society we belong to . This baggage which has been stylishly termed as culture and values. Slowly as we grow up the so called values and principles become so intervened in our lives that we fail to see beyond them.

We choose the language , religion and ethics of our society as well as the morality , norms and restrictions.No doubt the values , ethics and morals bestowed upon us by our parents and elders have evolved over generations and have survived  the test of time. This is only possible if there is something inherently good about it. But as with everything else in this world , all of these have deficiencies which should be accepted , discussed and addressed

Each society world over has developed in its own way and have been influenced by the radical and revolutionary men who shaped their core. However like everything else in this world , each of the great civilizations , societal and nationalistic arrangement has its own set of deficiencies along with every virtue they carry .Sadly most of the civilizations except for the western world have been shaped on the basis of the religion.The western culture is also marred by high materialistic sensibilities , resulting in overt emphasis on consumption ism. This has given rise to a world which although has great virtues of free will, and democratic beliefs ..is also defined materialistic,consumerist ,insensitive , celebrity worshiping culture.

Likewise all the cultures have their own merits and demerits. I am not going to dwell into that. the point I would like to make is ,why are we so engrossed and entangled in this societal framework . Why we don't question the beliefs and practices ..if we feel that they are no longer relevant and have become outdated. Millions of young inquisitive minds are hiding their spark because of their culture and societal upbringing. And millions don't even think about it , their minds have been shaped and morphed by the so called torchbearers of their culture.

I fail to understand why some people just follow others with so much faith and devotion. Why they surrender their whole existence in the hands of the few. Charisma and personality do play their roles . Hitler could sell his theory to the German public because of his amazing charisma and oratory skills . But it was also because he showed them a bright future ..the dream of the future where their race in its pure form will be ruling the whole world.. Sadly for Germany that road lead them to utter destruction and loss.This is what blind faith do. It removes the ability to think , and analyze and moreover question.Much the same could be said about the Islamic jihad.

This article is not about terrorism and the reasons for it , not its about the civilizations and societies of the world .This about the darkness which has engulfed the mind of one and all leading to the ultimate failure of free will and thinking.We accept what we are told , we do what we are told. From the childhood , we are told to accept and incorporate whatever that has been followed through Generation. Every morning , we are taught ..to sit in the front of deity ..and pray. If u are a Hindu ..pray , and chant , and praise the lord ..and that too in Sanskrit. We chant mantras in the language most of us don't understand. Do we ever cared to understand and think about what we are saying and chanting with so much compassion and devotion.Its just an example.

I am special not because I am a Hindu , or  a Brahman or an Indian .These are cultural tags that have been put on us . I am special because I am a human. I am special because I have the power to think , analyze and shape the future of myself and the future generations.

A democratic and free will society must accept and consider any new ideas that comes up. I had an interesting conversation with one of my friends a few days back. I told her that I don't believe in patriotism  , that I  think every creation in  this world is same and to be loved and not just what belongs to the country i was born. She termed me a traitor , and blamed people like me as the reason India is the way it is today. Well I tried to make my point clear to her ...gave her logic's in support of my argument ..but although she could not put a counter logic to it ..she remained adamant and stubborn ...sticking to the point she had made.I would had been happy if she had made a valid argument in support of her point ...and would had considered even accepting her theory ..but that argument only made me more convinced of my theory than her ..since the conversation only made me think more about the point and provided myself a lot more arguments to support it .

Let me share a little bit about my thoughts on Patriotism and Universalism.

What is patriotism? Its about loving your country . There is nothing bad in being patriotic. Its like loving your family. But if Mother Teresa had only been more patriotic than a humanist ..she would not have been honored as Mother.Its great if we love our family , but isn't it even greater that we love each and everyone as a family member.The theories in support of nationalism is per-se the same as in support of regionalism. What is a nation. Within the boundaries loosely decided upon by some humans , who were supposed to be more intelligent than us , we confine ourselves and call it a nation.We are supposed to keep ourselves within those boundaries and discourage others from entering it. We have soldiers guarding those boundaries with the license to end a human life.

.....................to be continued