I have been living abroad for more than 5 years now . This includes multiple geographies . Living in Bahrain for almost three years . Sometimes I wonder how much it has changed me . Or more precisely is the change for the better or for worse . There are different kinds of expats . One kind , and you will find those in abundance are the ones who live in a tightly integrated community based on their origins and nationality. They are the ones who wants to preserve there original identity and culture . They wont mingle much with others apart for business . So they are living an extension of their lives in their country . They create similar surrounding for themselves and live in a protected shell minimizing the influence of the nation they are living in .
There is another kind . The one who assimilates in the culture of the place where they are staying or adopt the culture of a true expat . A true expat has no baggage I guess . They just become a new identity and have friends from everywhere . Mostly westernized ( if they are not already from west ) they are the affluent ones and have a penchant for being highly social and being popular .
Here the problem lies for someone like me , who is nowhere . I don't want the baggage but I cant become a true expat . I want to talk to people and make friends with people of different nationalities but its very difficult when you are not the kind described above . When you hate social gathering , parties and don't go to pubs and forums . Its not that I have failed completely . Its more like , people get confused about what the true me is . I don't associate myself with my origins much and I cant change myself completely to fit in . So you end up staying lonely most of the time . And in a country like Bahrain , being lonely can be quite depressing . And people either think you are a snob or you are too reserved . I need friends but I don't know how to make one . I wish there is one like me out there who is struggling in the same way .
Ok so what I want . Hmm I want just to talk and exchange ideas and experiences ( not business cards ) . I want to talk politics and religion , science and spirituality and things like that with an open mind. I want to meet in cafes and not pubs and bars . Society here is highly consumerised or materialistic . People just love to spend and spend and spend . Fancy cars , Fancy restaurants , Fancy resorts . That's the life and those are the laughs which rings hollow many times . The shallowness irks me . But I am out of depth myself . Its not just this place , its the same back home , same everywhere else too I guess.
Many of us are struggling I guess . Sometimes struggling to keep upto someones expectations , sometimes to our own expectations . Sometimes balancing both is the biggest struggle . People are happier when they live in shells insulated , people are happy when they are flying freely without any strings . But it becomes difficult when u have broken the shell and can see the world outside but an invisible glue keeps you from flying , you are just walking slowly with heavy steps away from the world you want to get away from but nowhere near the one you want to be in . I dont know if the entire thing I wrote makes any sense or not . May be not ..just like my life .. Nothing is making any sense . ... as the Beatles say ... let it be .
There is another kind . The one who assimilates in the culture of the place where they are staying or adopt the culture of a true expat . A true expat has no baggage I guess . They just become a new identity and have friends from everywhere . Mostly westernized ( if they are not already from west ) they are the affluent ones and have a penchant for being highly social and being popular .
Here the problem lies for someone like me , who is nowhere . I don't want the baggage but I cant become a true expat . I want to talk to people and make friends with people of different nationalities but its very difficult when you are not the kind described above . When you hate social gathering , parties and don't go to pubs and forums . Its not that I have failed completely . Its more like , people get confused about what the true me is . I don't associate myself with my origins much and I cant change myself completely to fit in . So you end up staying lonely most of the time . And in a country like Bahrain , being lonely can be quite depressing . And people either think you are a snob or you are too reserved . I need friends but I don't know how to make one . I wish there is one like me out there who is struggling in the same way .
Ok so what I want . Hmm I want just to talk and exchange ideas and experiences ( not business cards ) . I want to talk politics and religion , science and spirituality and things like that with an open mind. I want to meet in cafes and not pubs and bars . Society here is highly consumerised or materialistic . People just love to spend and spend and spend . Fancy cars , Fancy restaurants , Fancy resorts . That's the life and those are the laughs which rings hollow many times . The shallowness irks me . But I am out of depth myself . Its not just this place , its the same back home , same everywhere else too I guess.
Many of us are struggling I guess . Sometimes struggling to keep upto someones expectations , sometimes to our own expectations . Sometimes balancing both is the biggest struggle . People are happier when they live in shells insulated , people are happy when they are flying freely without any strings . But it becomes difficult when u have broken the shell and can see the world outside but an invisible glue keeps you from flying , you are just walking slowly with heavy steps away from the world you want to get away from but nowhere near the one you want to be in . I dont know if the entire thing I wrote makes any sense or not . May be not ..just like my life .. Nothing is making any sense . ... as the Beatles say ... let it be .
1 comment:
To an extent I can relate to this but I am a little less glued then u r. I am flying just a little bit above the ground but not bale to break free completely and fly high... hope this makes sense.
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